The Week That Was
January 27th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
There’s no Clasico next week. This is extremely sad-making. But we must make do. « Read the rest of this entry »
Stop Taking Imaginary Offence
January 25th, 2012 § 1 Comment
This piece first appeared on SB NATION on 17 January 2011
English football has its adorable idiosyncrasies, that’s why we put up with love it. There’s the cute wave of hysteria that drowns the country every two years (qualification allowing), and there’s the endearing approval of low-grade violence that hides behind the euphemism “good honest challenge”. But recently, one of the most quaint and peculiar of them all has been parading for our attention, a thing that “nobody likes to see”: the waving of the imaginary card. « Read the rest of this entry »
The FIFA Ballon d’Or: Yay For The Right Choice, Yay For Those Who Got It Wrong
January 20th, 2012 § 1 Comment
This piece first appeared on SB NATION on 10 January 2012
There have probably been less surprising poll results. In 1962, elections in North Korea achieved the democratic dream of a 100% turnout, with each victorious candidates — they were limited to one per constituency — attaining a 100% mandate. But when the only other horse in what could only loosely be described as a two-horse race doesn’t feel the need to turn up — Cristiano Ronaldo had very important Copa del Rey practice — then it does rather undermine even the pretense of suspense. And so it came to pass: Lionel Messi, for the third time in a row, won the FIFA Ballon d’Or and retained official recognition as the best player on the planet. « Read the rest of this entry »
The Week That Was
January 20th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Swan Songs #12
January 18th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Everton 1-0 Swansea
We came in cold from the rain with the hope that we wouldn’t get wet and that the awnings and shingles and spires and pillars and poles and wind would get in the way of the water coming in sheets. « Read the rest of this entry »
Swan Songs #11
January 6th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Newcastle 0-0 Swansea
A touch of an undying, unmoving plane,
all and along the unending, unsinging same
sorry low sweeping shared glance or stare, « Read the rest of this entry »
To the barricades
December 30th, 2011 § 19 Comments
I write this as the new year approaches and as Robin van Persie closes in on an utterly spurious and contrived achievement. Two goals against Queen’s Park Rangers tomorrow, and he will become the player to have scored “the most goals in a calendar year in the Premier League”, taking the mantle from Alan “Not As Funny As Harry” Shearer, a man who currently makes a living describing replays, though as he’s not yet ready to do it in sign language he just uses words. Not only is this record idiotic for reasons far too obvious to waste any words on here, but it is symptomatic of a wider and more sinister habit to which the Premier League is utterly addicted: the obsession with records, with the contrivance of meaning where there is none. « Read the rest of this entry »
Swan Songs #10
December 23rd, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Swansea 0-0 Aston Villa
For Gary Speed
One day the ball stops rolling,
on the brackish grass, « Read the rest of this entry »
Swan Songs #9: 0-1 Manchester United
December 2nd, 2011 § Leave a Comment
by Maxwell Kuhl
what drunk, hapless waves,
lapping shore-ward,
heady in the moving water
waiting for the rocks and sand,
already leaning, lost together « Read the rest of this entry »
One by one
November 24th, 2011 § 25 Comments
The rules …
A squad of twenty, comprising a first XI, an 8-man bench, and a manager, one selected from each Premier League team. « Read the rest of this entry »
