The many names of Joleon Lescott
February 28, 2012 § 9 Comments
This afternoon, as I was gazing idly at Joleon Lescott’s name on my computer screen, I noticed that you can nearly break his name into four complete, separate names: Jo, Leon, Les, and Scott, with just a tiny overlap on the last one. I then noticed that you could also get Leo, and Ole, and proudly told Twitter that I thought six names might be some kind of record, assuming you disallowed (a) surnames, (b) anagrams/moving of letters, and (c) names that were part of the actual name, like “Joleon” itself.
What followed was an object in lesson in why you should always and/or never tell Twitter anything, as further suggestions poured in, taking us up to a grand and slightly ludicrous total of
seventeen eighteen, some of which appear to exist only in America. Here they are for posterity, along with examples for the less obvious of them.
2. Jol — not just Martin’s surname, apparently, but the first name of Jol Dantzig, who Wikipedia tells us is an “artist, businessman, songwriter, designer, luthier, author, and one of the founders of Hamer Guitars”. A luthier is somebody that makes and repairs lutes, but you knew that. And yes, Jol is short for Jolyon, but fuck it: the man’s a luthier, and can call himself what he wants.
3. Jole — an Italian name, derived from the Greek jon, meaning violet, which was Latinised into iole. Iole was the name of one of the lovers of Hercules, and their inappropriate naughtiness eventually led to his death through one of those hilariously unlikely mix-ups that Greek myths go in for. So she married his son.
4. Joleo — there are two people called Joleo in California, obviously.
5. Ol — an acceptable shorter relation of Oliver, apparently. Means either elf warrior or olive tree, which sound like fairly exclusive things to me, but I don’t speak Germanic.
6. Ole — Gunnar Solskjaer, duh.
7. Le — for boys and girls! Means pearl in Vietnamese.
10. Eon — a variant of Ian, of Scots Gaelic origin, meaning “God is gracious”. If your parents called you Eon, though, I suspect gracious wouldn’t be the first word that sprang to mind.
12. Escot — a name of Old English origin, meaning “hut near the stream”.
13. Escott — a more common (relatively) variation of the above. Neither is as common as Ascot, which is itself most famous as a racecourse, but it’s on a baby names website which means that somewhere, some time, some placenta-sniffing lunatic hopped up on the sheer amazingness of their own fundamental biological purpose has insisted, despite of the misgivings of the registry clerk. We live in a world where people call their offspring Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. America’s next President might be called Mitt. It’s hopeless.
14. Scot — a short version of the below. Means “from Scotland, a Scotsman”, you’ll be stunned to hear.
16. Co — a Dutch name, short for Jacobus. Notable examples include Co Adriaanse, former manager of (among others) Porto and Ajax, recently dismissed from FC Twente, and Co “The Matchstick” Stompé, who does arrers.
18. Esco — as nominated below by Almajir. The internet doesn’t appear to know what it means, but various sources agree that it was the 887th most popular name in America in 1901, constituting 0.007% of the population. They probably all have the same source, mind, so who knows.
And there we go.
Seventeen Eighteen of them, via ancient Greece, medieval Austria, Vietnam, and that night in Barcelona. If you can find anymore, stick them in the comments with links and I’ll update accordingly. And if you can think of others — Antonio Valencia and Alexander Oxlade-Chamberlain have been suggested — then go for it.
With thanks to @OnTheRoadajtas, @chroniclesofal, @MattSavage7, @goonerathena, @StanLCFC, @benmschneider, @theftblproject, @SeatPitch, @RushianLFC, @Callum_TH, @FootballCliches, and plenty others.