The Week That Was
February 17th, 2012 § 1 Comment
Yay Herve Renard! Yay fitted cotton shirts! Yay for the grand narrative! « Read the rest of this entry »
One By One: Grand Tour
February 14th, 2012 § 1 Comment
So the Champions League is back. Are you excited? A bit? Yeah, me too. The football’s decent, though there is the ever-present sense that it’s all a charade, played out to line the pockets of men that are already insensitively rich. Plus, Heineken’s shite. « Read the rest of this entry »
The Pre-Match Handshake Is A Pointless Exercise In Nonsense And Must Be Stopped Immediately, Else I’ll Go Postal
February 10th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
This piece first appeared on SB NATION on 3 February 2012. However, the fact that Patrice Evra and Luis Suarez will be playing one another this weekend means it remains relevant. Thank you, football. Thank you.
In the end, amid rumours that the entire of Queen’s Park Rangers’ side were set to “snub” John Terry’s limpid and outstretched foreleg in solidarity with Anton Ferdinand, the FA did the sensible thing, and sent both sides onto the pitch without insisting that they line-up in front of the director’s box and wobble one another wrists. The disappointment from the assembled media was palpable, as both sides of the delicately stoked either/or, will he/won’t we narrative collapsed into “oh, we’ll never know”. A thousand opinion pieces cried out, and were suddenly silenced. « Read the rest of this entry »
The Week That Was
February 3rd, 2012 § Leave a Comment
The transfer window, eh? Not with a bang, nor even a whimper, but a gentle click of mutual skintness and prudence. Premier League clubs being sensible? Lunacy.
The Week That Was
January 27th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
There’s no Clasico next week. This is extremely sad-making. But we must make do. « Read the rest of this entry »
Stop Taking Imaginary Offence
January 25th, 2012 § 1 Comment
This piece first appeared on SB NATION on 17 January 2011
English football has its adorable idiosyncrasies, that’s why we put up with love it. There’s the cute wave of hysteria that drowns the country every two years (qualification allowing), and there’s the endearing approval of low-grade violence that hides behind the euphemism “good honest challenge”. But recently, one of the most quaint and peculiar of them all has been parading for our attention, a thing that “nobody likes to see”: the waving of the imaginary card. « Read the rest of this entry »
The FIFA Ballon d’Or: Yay For The Right Choice, Yay For Those Who Got It Wrong
January 20th, 2012 § 1 Comment
This piece first appeared on SB NATION on 10 January 2012
There have probably been less surprising poll results. In 1962, elections in North Korea achieved the democratic dream of a 100% turnout, with each victorious candidates — they were limited to one per constituency — attaining a 100% mandate. But when the only other horse in what could only loosely be described as a two-horse race doesn’t feel the need to turn up — Cristiano Ronaldo had very important Copa del Rey practice — then it does rather undermine even the pretense of suspense. And so it came to pass: Lionel Messi, for the third time in a row, won the FIFA Ballon d’Or and retained official recognition as the best player on the planet. « Read the rest of this entry »
The Week That Was
January 20th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Swan Songs #12
January 18th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Everton 1-0 Swansea
We came in cold from the rain with the hope that we wouldn’t get wet and that the awnings and shingles and spires and pillars and poles and wind would get in the way of the water coming in sheets. « Read the rest of this entry »
