Orange crush

February 22nd, 2012 § Leave a Comment

Thanks to Steve @miniboro_dotcom.

The Week That Was

February 17th, 2012 § 1 Comment

Zlatan Ibrahimovich celebrates after scoring against Arsenal

Yay Herve Renard! Yay fitted cotton shirts! Yay for the grand narrative! « Read the rest of this entry »

One By One: Grand Tour

February 14th, 2012 § 1 Comment

European flags

So the Champions League is back. Are you excited? A bit? Yeah, me too. The football’s decent, though there is the ever-present sense that it’s all a charade, played out to line the pockets of men that are already insensitively rich. Plus, Heineken’s shite. « Read the rest of this entry »

The Pre-Match Handshake Is A Pointless Exercise In Nonsense And Must Be Stopped Immediately, Else I’ll Go Postal

February 10th, 2012 § Leave a Comment

This piece first appeared on SB NATION on 3 February 2012. However, the fact that Patrice Evra and Luis Suarez will be playing one another this weekend means it remains relevant. Thank you, football. Thank you.

In the end, amid rumours that the entire of Queen’s Park Rangers’ side were set to “snub” John Terry’s limpid and outstretched foreleg in solidarity with Anton Ferdinand, the FA did the sensible thing, and sent both sides onto the pitch without insisting that they line-up in front of the director’s box and wobble one another wrists. The disappointment from the assembled media was palpable, as both sides of the delicately stoked either/or, will he/won’t we narrative collapsed into “oh, we’ll never know”. A thousand opinion pieces cried out, and were suddenly silenced. « Read the rest of this entry »

The Week That Was

February 3rd, 2012 § Leave a Comment

The transfer window, eh? Not with a bang, nor even a whimper, but a gentle click of mutual skintness and prudence. Premier League clubs being sensible? Lunacy.

« Read the rest of this entry »

The Week That Was

January 27th, 2012 § Leave a Comment

Jose Mourinho

There’s no Clasico next week. This is extremely sad-making. But we must make do.  « Read the rest of this entry »

Stop Taking Imaginary Offence

January 25th, 2012 § 1 Comment

This piece first appeared on SB NATION on 17 January 2011

English football has its adorable idiosyncrasies, that’s why we put up with love it. There’s the cute wave of hysteria that drowns the country every two years (qualification allowing), and there’s the endearing approval of low-grade violence that hides behind the euphemism “good honest challenge”. But recently, one of the most quaint and peculiar of them all has been parading for our attention, a thing that “nobody likes to see”: the waving of the imaginary card. « Read the rest of this entry »

The FIFA Ballon d’Or: Yay For The Right Choice, Yay For Those Who Got It Wrong

January 20th, 2012 § 1 Comment

This piece first appeared on SB NATION on 10 January 2012

There have probably been less surprising poll results. In 1962, elections in North Korea achieved the democratic dream of a 100% turnout, with each victorious candidates — they were limited to one per constituency — attaining a 100% mandate. But when the only other horse in what could only loosely be described as a two-horse race doesn’t feel the need to turn up — Cristiano Ronaldo had very important Copa del Rey practice — then it does rather undermine even the pretense of suspense. And so it came to pass: Lionel Messi, for the third time in a row, won the FIFA Ballon d’Or and retained official recognition as the best player on the planet. « Read the rest of this entry »

The Week That Was

January 20th, 2012 § Leave a Comment

 

Oh, Pepe!

Some things that I read and quite liked this past week … « Read the rest of this entry »

Swan Songs #12

January 18th, 2012 § Leave a Comment

Leon Osman wins a header against Swansea

Everton 1-0 Swansea

We came in cold from the rain with the hope that we wouldn’t get wet and that the awnings and shingles and spires and pillars and poles and wind would get in the way of the water coming in sheets. « Read the rest of this entry »

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